Faith

... And now we stand at the edge, hand and hand, looking out at the world, our destiny laid out before us. A choice, a commitment, a leap of faith, but one we will take together. If you let go of my hand, if you lose your grip, if the road you follow comes to an end... Believe in your intuition, know you have a purpose, and remember... that when we jumped, we did so as one. And when we land... nothing will have changed.

Untitled

I wish that I could understand...
  So people would know just who I am.
I wish I knew just what to say...
  And then I wouldn't miss another day.
I hope someday I find true love...
  Elusive and fleeting like a dove.

Stuff

Communication... seems like a complicated word. So many variations and levels... But it's not, it's actually very simple. Communication is the single thread that holds people together... in life and in love.

The key is focus and reaffirming your beliefs everyday. Set your goals and stay on course. Set backs only make you stronger. And, patience... is mandatory.

Scarface

I sent this to a friend after my cancer surgery next to my left eye... I told her that I decided to join the circus. She said she almost cried.


Didn't realize how grueling the schedule is for a "Carney" . (that's what we call ourselves) Life under the Big Top isn't quite as glamorous as I thought it would be. Not only do we have our shows but we must help with setting up and tearing down of the tent and stands. It's not unusual to put in a 16 to 18 hour day. Foods good though, anything that the concessionaires don't sell by the end of the night, we can have for half price.

Amazingly, I have developed a whole new appreciation for the people, such as myself, that have physical defects, either by nature or from life's unfortunate circumstances. We all eat, sleep, and breath like normal people. We laugh, cry, and feel pain, the same as everyone else. (maybe a little more) But the one thing that stands out among all of us "freaks" is the love. The love for one and other. The compassion and caring for each other. It's unbelievable.

I know that I will never be able to fit back into a normal society and sometimes when the kids point at me and laugh, I just want to find a place to hide until I die. But knowing that I am one of a chosen few, who get up every day and somehow manage to find the strength and dignity to make their lives seem meaningful, gives me hope and a belief that my life has purpose.

Maybe some day when the circus comes through your town, you will come visit me. I hope that I don't frighten you. Until then, I'll keep an eye out for you...

"Scar Face" (that's my stage name)

Who I Am

I looked up to the sky tonight,
A million stars, twinkled so bright.
Am I them, is that me,
lost in the past, wanting to be free?

And as I gazed, a sudden flash,
a streak of light, an extended dash.
A Shooting Star, bright and proud
I pointed to the sky and said out loud...

"I know who I am, now I can see,
I'm not one of them, I know that's me".
Living in the moment, that's where you are,
Not one of many, but a shooting star.